I had a conversation with friends the other day and a few comments were made about having a balanced life. As usual I questioned that assumption, the basis behind it and the impact it has on a life. While I agree any job, activity, interest can consume our minds, our hearts, our time, our money. Yet, our time on this spinning chaotic orb is filled with imbalance. The quest for balance can in itself become out of balance. The quest for a life where everything we do has a specific apportionment of time, resources, energy can result in lives of unfilled desires and expectations. If we truly seek a balanced life then there are aspects of our lives that we will actually limit in our quest for balance. We limit them because there are areas of our lives where we need to be out of balance.
Think for a moment about the relationships in your life where you get the most benefit, the most reward, the most encouragement. When I look at the most significant relationships in my life it comes down to two. The first and most important is my relationship with my God. Imagine a faith filled life that is based in balance and equality of time given to it. Imagine a faith filled life where God gets the same amount of time and energy of all our other relationships. Imagine my impact in this world living out the desires that my God has for me if I always allocate an equal share. The second most important relationship is with my spouse. We have been together for 40 years and we have a connection, a love, a commitment that has been built through imbalance. I spend the majority of my time building these two relationships, building foundations that will weather storms, weather conflict, weather hardship. The only way these two relationships have impact in my life and in turn others is if I am completely out of balance with the energy, the time, the money, the resources I give to them.
I understand completely what we mean when we say “balance”, yet I think we unintentionally limit our joy, our impact, our love, our influence if we are always seeking balance. Yes, we need to manage how, where, why and when we use the time and resources we have been given. We need to be deliberate to manage which areas of our lives are in balance and which are out of balance. This balancing act is something that comes with experience, with failure, with pain as with most lessons worth learning. I used to repeat the mantra, “everything in moderation” and eventually realized I was espousing a life of limit, a life enslaved to balance. I do not want a moderate faith, a moderate marriage, a moderate life. I desire a life of influence, of joy, of impact, of freedom. That life can never be realized if balance is always my goal. Maybe what I am saying is exactly what we mean by balance, yet I feel there is more.
The way we define the words we use to form our ideas and concepts is affected by what influences we allow to have authority. For me we must be diligent in seeking an honest and truth-filled understanding of what concepts and ideas these words form in our lives. Thoughtful reflection on the word and idea of balance has brought me to this page. It has brought me to the articulation of what I truly mean when I say balance or imbalance. The book I value most teaches me to love God with all I have, not a balanced love but an all in, holistic, demanding, consuming love. If I give my God anything less than this imbalanced commitment I will never realize the full potential of who and what I am created to be. I want everything my God has for me, I want the freedom, the challenge, the pain, the hardship, the joy. And, I want it abundantly as it is promised.
Yet, I can’t get past the idea of balance and how it can destroy what only imbalance can make possible. I believe that if I am willing to be out of balance in these few relationships and the impact they have on me and others the rest of my life with always be in balance. You see a life imbalanced in this way is a life being lived with a realization that I am here to serve and love others, giving away my quest for balance in exchange for a life filled with areas out of balance so those less important areas can remain in balance. A life being lived with this imbalance will have impact, have influence, have pain, have joy, have freedom that a life enslaved to balance will never realize. So ask yourself what your desire is, where your heart, your mind, your energy will be placed. Will it be in a constant quest to stay in equilibrium or will it be a journey filled with empowering imbalance, the choice is yours.